There are problems with problems, sounds silly I know but if you take that statement literally the major problem with problems is that they force us into thinking that something is wrong. When in reality the result, the situation that we are in is the right results at that time, for that particular strategy.
So, what is a problem? A problem is a particular result that is different from what you wanted, or the difference between where you are now and where you want to be.
Most of us have been trained from a very early age to respond to problems by avoiding them, learning to move away from them which is very different from moving towards our goals. Looking at problems in a very different way through our perceptual filters – our model of the world.
The problem is not the problem, your attitude about the problem is the problem.
The first thing important in solving any problem is knowing your role. What did you do that created that result? Without a clear idea of your position in any situation you can’t be sure that your plan will work.
First of all get any negative thinking out of the way. Dissociate yourself from the situation and take another look. Take a step back and review from a different perspective. What is it about this particular event that makes this the right result?
What do you do to get yourself here?
A good place to start is to look at some basic presuppositions
The map is not the territory: This is just a way of saying that our beliefs and ideas about people, life and the world aren’t necessarily accurate. They are just a guide. People don’t act on things because of the way those things actually are but from their own personal thoughts of how they are. It may be that you have been following some old rules or guides in your work that are actually getting in your way rather than helping you.
All behaviour has some positive intent. People make the best choices they see are available to them at the time:
No matter how strange you may think someone’s behaviour is there is some good reason behind everything that they do. Sometimes it takes a while for it to make sense but with patience it will. Maybe you get stuck at certain times and don’t yet know why or maybe you are thinking of this situation in a particular way. This kind of thinking can make your task very difficult. If you assume that you have a good reason for being stuck, then it can change your way of thinking enough for you to find a better direction.
The meaning of the communication is the response you get:
Good communicators take responsibility for getting others to understand them. People respond to what they think they hear, see or understand. Assume that people are responding appropriately, if this isn’t the response you were looking for time to figure out how you got that response and what is needed to get the response you want.
There is no failure only feedback: Everything we do, successful or not, can be learned from. If we take results as feedback, they can teach us a lot about how to behave. People who kick themselves for their mistakes usually don’t take the time to carefully analyse the causes and effects; they’re too busy kicking. They don’t learn all they can. Those who don’t learn from their own history usually repeat it.
Everyone has all of the internal resources they need: People are resilient they are smart and capable. When they don’t’ seem to be any of these things it is because they are not in touch with their natural internal resources and strengths. The statements here are designed to help you review how to make changes in your thought processes so that you can deal with “problems” differently, to get to grips with what is needed to achieve those goals.
Some of you will recognise these as the Basic Presuppositions of NLP.
Once you are aware of your role in creating the unwanted outcome it makes it much simpler to begin to formulate a plan to change it.